2020 was just going to end and I wanted to say goodbye on good terms to that otherwise very sad year. That is how I am, I believe in a good end rather than a great start. I saw the post of Amal Academy on my Facebook feed, immediately saved the post because I was too lazy to open the link and apply and then completely forgot about it. Until it was the last day to apply and God saved me.
My journey as an Amal Fellow has been like a roller coaster ride and I am terrified of them. 2 weeks into the fellowship, I was really enjoying the ride.
“Online courses — check, Projects — check, Extra mile projects — check, Good background for online session — check, Joining session 5 mins earlier — check. OH THAT IS SO EASY AND FUN!”
Then 1 month passed by like nothing. We were already assigned mega projects and we have somewhat started working already. Now at this point I would like you to consider yourself in the roller coaster at the highest point — But about to drop the shiz out of you. That is exactly what happened.
“Oh it’s the last day and I still haven’t completed the online courses.”, “I will just sleep for 5 more minutes and be up at 10 to join the session just on time.”, “WTH IS THIS! I AM GOING TO DROP OUT.”
In all of that chaos we entered the last month of fellowship and this is the time when you get used to the ups and downs of the ride and start enjoying it.
“Project work has the second deadline by Monday midnight so it means I can submit it by then.”, “Guys! I am going to take a nap so someone can call me to wake me up before the session.”, “OH IT’S 3 MONTHS ALREADY, I AM TOTALLY GONNA MISS ’EM ALL.”
The reason for stating the whole story is to introduce you to the HERO of my story and I was actually blessed to have the whole set of “AVENGERS” instead — the fellows and most importantly, Sir Usman and Ma’am Rubia. They lifted me up at the times when I was just going to crash to the ground.
When we started working on the mega project and were brainstorming the ideas, it was the most challenging time for me. I never had initiated any project on my own without any teacher. And having not a very social personality made it difficult for me to pitch my idea to my circle members and I did it. After a lot of meetings we finally decided on a topic but I wasn’t satisfied with it at all. I was so unsure that even after taking the final decision I came in to ask my circle members to change it as we cannot do it. But there was this one person who said,’’ I know everyone is very unsure about it but all I want you guys to do is to believe in me and we will ace it for sure.” At that moment I thought to myself, “We are doomed.” But as the time passed I started seeing some progress. “Okay we can make something out of it.” Team Thor continued giving all that was needed and we were actually able to meet our goals before the time.
We all know this quote by M. Ali Jinnah, “I do not believe in taking the right decision, I take a decision and make it right.” But it was my first time seeing someone act on it. I realized I am very negative when it comes to starting something new, from the scratch. This negativity often makes me underrate myself and I deprive myself of the best things I could have achieved.
Looking back made me realize that I could not have just ignored the positive and passionate energy that my members have with them. There is nothing in particular that I could have done differently, but the time I wasted, overthinking the things could have been utilized in doing more productive work. It is better to procrastinate than counting things you cannot do.
Thank you so much for everything. From those little notes of appreciation on project works to those really prizing voice messages, from those early “Good Mornings” to “Nalaiku uth jao”, from “Be on time after the break” to “Aaj to Sir Usman se gana sunain ge”, I enjoyed every bit of it and will never forget the time well spent here.